Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Randomize
