You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
