i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Randomize