And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
