On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
