Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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