Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
