that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
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I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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