i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
