Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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