i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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