She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
