Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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