My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I would ride that face into the sunset
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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