we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
