You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
