no, he came in my armpit
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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