Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
