I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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