I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
