He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
