So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
