ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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