I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize