Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
