He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
