Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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