he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
