What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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