absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
