he was CRYING into my vagina
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
