I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I pour the whiskey from now on
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
