On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
