so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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