Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
