i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
