Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
a search helicopter?!
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
