As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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