at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
