Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I queefed so loud it echoed.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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