that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
