You really coming over, don't trick.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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