I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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