I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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