can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
