But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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