sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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