yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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