so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
