Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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