As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
