That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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