I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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