I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
