I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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