either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
