Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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