Texts From Last Night

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  (785): View more from Kansas

  If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up

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  (785): If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up http://tfl.nu/fktn
  Replies (9) Good night (1140) Bad night (2903)
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  (916): View more from California

  i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord

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  (916): i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord http://tfl.nu/bi3f
  Replies (15) Good night (3959) Bad night (1321)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.

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  (404): you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are. http://tfl.nu/yq64
  Replies (9) Good night (7185) Bad night (1374)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.

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  (678): I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous. http://tfl.nu/5xat
  Replies (8) Good night (1509) Bad night (3742)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Green mimosas i think yes

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  (502): Green mimosas i think yes http://tfl.nu/w98u
  Replies (4) Good night (1612) Bad night (1044)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....

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  (618): Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight.... http://tfl.nu/4lm3
  Replies (5) Good night (2313) Bad night (1117)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.

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  (250): Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed. http://tfl.nu/6hpj
  Replies (1) Good night (841) Bad night (2559)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor

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  (708): seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor http://tfl.nu/2ux6
  Replies (9) Good night (955) Bad night (2512)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?

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  (517): I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm? http://tfl.nu/cxi2
  Replies (7) Good night (3644) Bad night (880)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.

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  (478): We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties. http://tfl.nu/dlxy
  Replies (10) Good night (1811) Bad night (783)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius

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  (440): the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius http://tfl.nu/488p
  Replies (5) Good night (1171) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.

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  (306): My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover. http://tfl.nu/l5g3
  Replies (3) Good night (822) Bad night (1005)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.

  (1-250): View more from British Columbia

  We are the best.

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Ps. We need to take the garbage out.

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  (250): Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job. (1-250): We are the best. (250): Ps. We need to take the garbage out. http://tfl.nu/i0yw
  Replies (4) Good night (936) Bad night (517)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."

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  (630): my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation." http://tfl.nu/ju2j
  Replies (4) Good night (793) Bad night (394)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  So how'd the job interview go?

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward

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  (303): So how'd the job interview go? (1-303): well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward http://tfl.nu/k32f
  Replies (4) Good night (534) Bad night (509)

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