Texts From Last Night

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  (360): View more from Washington

  I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.

  (646): View more from New York

  I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.

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  (360): I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am. (646): I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ. http://tfl.nu/g49z
  Replies (13) Good night (623) Bad night (1176)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account

  (1-216): View more from Ohio

  damn...impressive bar tab

  (216): View more from Ohio

  no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer

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  (216): when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account (1-216): damn...impressive bar tab (216): no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer http://tfl.nu/hyvf
  Replies (13) Good night (1322) Bad night (2021)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.

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  (828): I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995. http://tfl.nu/siku
  Replies (17) Good night (2714) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.

  (1-203): View more from Connecticut

  Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.

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  (203): im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty. (1-203): Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said. (203): Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/bpzi
  Replies (54) Good night (5331) Bad night (1148)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants

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  (903): So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants http://tfl.nu/066x
  Replies (12) Good night (3252) Bad night (1209)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore

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  (208): Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore http://tfl.nu/7jsm
  Replies (11) Good night (3791) Bad night (988)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem

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  (610): I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem http://tfl.nu/q0gs
  Replies (6) Good night (2247) Bad night (1309)
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  (310): View more from California

  I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.

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  (310): I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied. http://tfl.nu/wnhg
  Replies (13) Good night (4662) Bad night (893)
• Favorite

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?

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  (308): Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/mlvm
  Replies (8) Good night (1954) Bad night (601)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.

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  (910): They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card. http://tfl.nu/0s8y
  Replies (7) Good night (1011) Bad night (510)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am

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  (281): You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am http://tfl.nu/8gbq
  Replies (2) Good night (929) Bad night (922)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...

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  (215): Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or... http://tfl.nu/y16p
  Replies (8) Good night (797) Bad night (948)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina

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  (360): i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina http://tfl.nu/287f
  Replies (18) Good night (411) Bad night (1852)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.

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  (302): Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos. http://tfl.nu/r9f5
  Replies (1) Good night (558) Bad night (286)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...

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  (908): There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere... http://tfl.nu/vrgz
  Replies (3) Good night (431) Bad night (206)

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