Can Purell be used as lube?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
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