We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
