Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
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