my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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