omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
