U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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