When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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